We’re roughly six weeks out from Baby Menke’s due date. And while I’m super excited, just typing that takes my breathe away…
I’m not nervous or scared about actually having the baby. Been there, done that. (Leo.) It’s what I’m created to do. My Grandma Stahl had 11 children and didn’t even go to the hospital until she was having her eighth. (And she was a short, petite woman.) I’ve always thought the natural childbirth thing suited me. It’s such an amazing superhero-like process. I’m excited that Tony will be there to experience it with me.
I wouldn’t say I’m terribly concerned about how Leo is going to adjust. I realize it will be a process, but he’s been asking for one for a brother or sister for more than a year now. Leo and I spend a lot of time talking about the baby, reading books and discussing how life will change once he’s here. Leo’s really excited about being a big brother and is looking forward to teaching Baby Menke all kinds of things. The only thing that he’s been sad about is realizing he and the baby will have different last names. It broke my heart the night that he was so upset. But it is what it is. I just reminded him that different last names don’t change the fact that they’ll still be brothers and best friends.
I definitely don’t have things ready to go around the house, or at work for that matter. I’m certain they’ll fall in place over the next month or so, though. A trip to my parents to grab some of Leo’s baby stuff from storage and a day of moving/assembly will get the boy’s room ready. And work probably won’t be completely wrapped up, ever. But I’ve already came to peace with the reality that I’ll need to work some remotely during my maternity leave to keep all of my digital campaigns in good shape. It shouldn’t be too big of a deal though.
At this point, I think I’m just nervous about the unknown. Like how the new baby will change the dynamics of our family and impact our schedules. How I’m going to be able to be a good mom to two boys. How it’s going to change things between Tony and me. How I’m still going to be able to work in some “me time” so I don’t get lost again.
I’m certain things will work out just when the time comes. It’s okay to not have complete control of the situation, and everyone will thrive if we can just go with the flow. I just have to remind myself that every now and then.